Monday, June 22, 2015

Quote of the Week

“ Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish. ” -John Quincy Adams I really need this quote in my life right now, my husband just took a job in Miami and we're living in two different households. I wanted to be supportive and follow him to Miami, but I just felt like the money wasn't worth it, and I secretly didn't want to uproot our children at this stage of their lives. We have five kids, but only four would be making the move(their ages:16,14,13 & 11), since our oldest is a college student. Yes, I know kids can bounce back from moves, but I've experienced dealing with two children who have dealt with depression. Our oldest daughter struggled with it when we moved across town in the middle of her school year, and my oldest son struggled with it when he transitioned to middle school and then struggled with anxiety when he started high school. I have always been open to therapy for my children if they need counseling, but my husband has always struggled with that option. My feelings have always been: if you need extra support then I'll provide it, if you need another listening ear/perspective then I'll make sure you'll get it, seeing a counselor/therapist isn't a sign of's a sign of strength(my husband felt the opposite). Because he felt like I was babying our children and not pushing them hard enough(Mind you, these two children have always been Honor Students),he really didn't listen to my concerns, and when teachers brought up the same concerns....he still didn't listen. I worried a many nights that my son might commit suicide because he was worried about not having all A's because he didn't score the grade he wanted on a test. I worried many nights about my daughter not being the social butterfly she was before the move and being bullied by a lot of the kids. Because of our daughter's difficulty trying to find her social footing in a new school, my husband and I decided that we would stay put, and provide our children with a consistent school life. Our younger children have been attending the same school cluster since Kindergarten and have really built up really good friendships, and I just love the area.......I don't know, sometimes I feel like I'm just being lazy and just don't want to move,but one thing I know is....I'm content where I am right now, all I want to do is get my children through their high school careers and then I'm willing to move anywhere he wants. Right now, I don't want to move to another city and depression shows its ugly little head again(in any of my children),and I'm left to deal with it all by myself again! Both of our older children are doing extremely well now, our son doesn't fret over being one point off of the the score he wanted on a test anymore, and our daughter is attending college with many of her high school friends(many of them she has known since 4th grade) and she has made lots of new friends in college too. There's so many more feeling I want to share,but I just needed to vent a little and you'll probably see the occasional vent about my husband's relocation and the impact on our family from time to time, so just feel free to give me any advice, if you want. Shelly

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